Is it LOVE?

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I’ve been working with a lot of different people with a LOT of different challenges lately and there’s one thing they all seem to have in common.

Their challenges all look different on the surface: Someone who needs to leave a job they have come to despise. Someone who is having trouble with their teenaged daughter. Someone who feels overwhelmed by the needs of an aging parent…for whom, no matter what he does, he is never quite good enough. Someone who loves their business and is terrified of sales. Someone who is lonely and longs for deep personal, spiritual connection with a friend…as well as a romantic partner.  (I could go on and on…I talk to lots of people every week and they all have some challenge they’re finding it difficult to overcome…)

Every single one of them has one thing in common.  Wondering if you’ll be surprised by what it is…

It’s lack of love and respect for themselves.

The one who needs to get out of the job? She tolerated being treated REALLY badly for years because she didn’t believe she deserved better.

The one with the teenage daughter? Again…tolerations of behavior because she doesn’t believe she’s worthy of respect.

The one with the aging parent? He’s locked into the drama his Mom has created and believes her needs are more important than his own…because he was never taught how to love himself enough that he couldn’t be manipulated by someone who can only get her needs met this way.

And terrified of sales?  (Many of these!) The little voices in his head ask “Who do you think you are?” In her head, “What will people think?” OR “Maybe I’m just not good enough.”

And desperately seeking love? She is JUST beginning to see that nothing will come until she begins a deep and profound love affair with herself so that she is attracting the friends who will support and love her for who she truly is…a bright light who will then be ready to welcome in “the one.”

So whatever your life challenge is today…ask yourself: what part of this could be improved if I really, truly loved myself starting right now. You can’t erase past decisions that allowed you to be treated in a less loving way than you deserved, but today, right now you can make the choice and take a stand that from this moment forward, you will really, truly open your heart to loving YOU.

Happy Valentine’s Day. Celebrate loving yourself today. Don’t spend another day tolerating anything or anyone who makes you feel small. You deserve more. You deserve to be loved. And it begins with first loving yourself.


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