Fall down 7 times…

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Get up 8!  ~Japanese Proverb

One of the biggest indicators of success for business AND life in general…is how resilient you are.

So why is it sometimes SO hard to bounce back after something doesn’t go the way we had planned?

I think it’s because of the stories we tell ourselves.  The meaning we attach to whatever it was that knocked us down.

The best lesson I ever learned was that nothing means anything except the meaning we attach to it. If this is a new idea to you…stop and give this some thought!  I’ve taught this to adults and kids for years and there isn’t a single person whose life wasn’t changed by really taking this one in…

So why is it, if we get to make up the meaning, that we so often choose a negative story that keeps us down even longer??

I believe it’s all about the triggers.  Whenever something upsetting happens for me, I take a long look at what the event is triggering inside of me. And I allow myself to feel WHATEVER is coming up.  (I used to think that I should always reach for a better feeling if something challenging came up that made me sad or angry or whatever…finally I got that you have to fully FEEL whatever is coming up first before you can really see what’s going on!) The next step is to think about why I’m having the reaction I’m having – and what needs to be healed inside of me that this event is triggering.

I apply the “Linda, your hair is green” test… Silly, right? But I have no reaction to that statement because I KNOW my hair is not green!  So if I’m feeling rejected because someone doesn’t want to work with me or my child says something that “hurts my feelings,” I think to myself, how would I be feeling if they told me my hair was green?  I’d be feeling absolutely nothing. No trigger there.  Then I go back to the “thing” that triggered me and I look at what meaning I’m attaching to it.

So next time something happens that causes you to have a big reaction…ask yourself what’s really going on.  Didn’t get the client you were going after? What meaning are you attaching to that?  Your teenager raging at you? What meaning are you attaching to that? Your spouse forget your birthday…again? What meaning are you attaching to that?

The real gift in this?  The more you make this a habit…the more resilient you will become. And the happier you will be…

Remember…

Fall Down 7 Times…Get Up 8!

 

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