Are you Judge, Jury and Executioner?

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I had a big breakthrough recently on what motivates me.

I thought about titling this post Self Hate…

’cause I realized that is exactly what DOES NOT motivate me…let me tell you how this breakthrough came to be…

College move in 2015After a really great week with my daughter traveling up to our old ‘hood in Portland and seeing as many people as the calendar and our energy level could possibly fit in… we headed to SoCal for move in to her sophomore year of college.  We had a great summer break between her freshman and sophomore years – almost 5 months long. We get along really well and enjoy each other’s company… so when it came time to drop her off at college this year, it was almost like freshman year all over again with the return of the Empty Nest!

What came next is what set me up perfectly for this breakthrough…

One of the big changes for us this summer was that we moved a few towns north of where we’ve been for 5 years. The place we were moving into wasn’t quite finished, so I had made arrangements to stay in a condo belonging to some friends who were out of town, while more work got completed. That’s where my breakdown began that created the space for this huge breakthrough…

condo picMy daughter dropped me off at the condo in a town where I knew no one in the middle of one of the worst heat waves of the summer! My big plans to spend a lot of time outside adjusting to my empty nest were just not going to happen.  (See that gorgeous setting? TOO hot to be out there!) I spent a lot of time inside with only my thoughts for company and I became much more aware of some of the chatter that was going on in the background of my mind…

I am a very positive, confident woman and I have to say I was shocked at some of what was STILL going on in my head.  I know lots of tricks to quiet those voices, but I decided it was time to allow them to have their “air” time to see what I needed to hear.  I found myself critical of myself in so many ways. Most surprising was how I somehow still had some religious script in my head telling me that certain things happened because I was not a good person… that if I were a better person, that my life would be different.

The thoughts ranged from “Who do you think you are…” to “See, that’s what you get…” to “Well, what did you expect?”  to “If you don’t do this, then you can’t have that…” to “Well, that’s your punishment for x,y,z…”

Now these are not my normal, conscious thoughts – but in the quiet, with only myself to talk with, I heard them again. I was absolutely stunned!

I’m sharing this with you because you might also be unaware of some of those subtle scripts and voices chattering in the background. Maybe you keep yourself so busy or medicated that you don’t let yourself hear them… or maybe you silence them right away.

I’ve made a different choice with this discovery. I am consciously choosing a more loving thought whenever that negative chatter comes up.  I’m not trying to silence it anymore. I’m changing the dialogue. I would never talk to someone else with those negative, hurtful, punishing words… why would I talk to myself that way?

I am loving myself into my greatness. You can too. And if you need help, I’m here. Whether it’s to grow your business or improve your relationship with yourself and others… I believe in you.  You can do this!

Don’t be Judge, Jury and Executioner of your dreams… LOVE yourself into being who you are called to be in the world.